3 Red Lines Not To Cross With Your Kids

Every parent feels at one time or another that they have lost control of their children. In the difficult task of parenting, we can find ourselves in extreme situations that overwhelm and test us. It is neither possible nor necessary to be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. However, there are certain red lines that we should never cross with our children.

When they grow up, your child won’t remember that particular day when you were tired and didn’t play with them. The memories of their childhood won’t be summed up with that morning when you were late and raised your voice to chase them. However, there are certain actions that significantly affect emotional development that you should avoid.

The Red Lines of Parenting

A red line is a point of no return. A metaphorical and imaginary place where the consequences can be devastating and irreparable for those involved. When we talk about parenting, the red lines are the behaviors that negatively affect the bond between parents and their children and really hurt the children.

In short, they are the moments when respect is lost, love is questioned and basic values ​​are pushed aside. So if we are clear about what they are, we can keep ourselves from going over them.

3 red lines not to cross with your children

Physical punishment

While some people think that “a spanking from time to time prevents a lot of problems,” the reality is that physical violence against a child is always a failure. However small, storing doesn’t nurture, teach them, or pass on valuable knowledge. It is just the reaction of an adult who feels overwhelmed and helpless.

Studies have shown the serious emotional consequences of hitting children. The bond between parent and child is damaged, clouded and filled with resentment, anger and mistrust. The child’s self-esteem drops and they learn to fear being hit instead of learning an important value.

So just as we don’t hit our partner or our boss when they do something that bothers us, we shouldn’t hit our kids either. Remember this: If a child can reason, reason with him or her. If they can’t, they won’t understand why you hit him. A beating is never justified.

To offend

It can certainly be exhausting taking care of your children to meet their needs, doing the same things over and over and facing their difficult behavior. However, no matter how many times you have tried to make yourself heard with your best words, it is not acceptable to offend a child.

If you insult them, you break the essential foundation of respect that must exist between the two of you. Then you lose the authority to demand respect and hurt their feelings.

As in the previous case, insulting them is not helpful or positive in any way. It does not teach, motivate or improve. So if you feel overwhelmed, leave the room and try to calm down. Once you cross one of the red lines, nothing will be the same.

Debt

Finally, there is one big mistake many parents make, and that is blaming their children for their own misfortune. Often they yell at them for everything they’ve done for them, everything they’ve given up and lost by being parents. This is an attitude that shows immaturity and victimization, which is unfair to children.

As an adult, you must take responsibility for your past, present and future decisions. You have to take charge of your happiness. Every one of your decisions was yours. For this reason, no one else is responsible but you.

Growing up listening to these kinds of statements, children may feel guilty, see themselves as a burden, feel unloved, and feel that they need to make their parents happy because they owe their parents’ happiness.

Free your child from that burden. Don’t make them feel that your happiness depends on their actions. Learn to make yourself happy so that your child can grow up carefree.