What Tone Do You Use When Disciplining Your Kids

There are many parents who speak loudly when they speak harshly to their children. Sometimes they scream and sometimes they can even become aggressive. This is never a sign of good parenting. Shouting does not raise children, but rather creates fear and resentment. So what is the right tone to use when we discipline our children?

A more empathetic, understanding, and caring tone is much more effective when it comes to disciplining children. The key is to be real. In other words, be completely sincere and use a calm tone. If you speak out of anger, your children will know and your words will not be as effective.

Discipline is complicated

Discipline is one of the most complicated parts of raising children. Mainly because we don’t want our children to suffer, but at the same time they need to learn certain lessons.

Sometimes parents become too tolerant because they want to protect their children from negative emotions. However, these parents are not doing their children any favors. It is itself the opposite.

Children who grow up without a concrete discipline structure or without consistent education are less prepared for adult life. Parents should create a predictable structure of rules and boundaries for their children. In this way, children know what is expected of them at all times.

The tone you use is important

Many parents believe that they should use a stern voice to punish their children. Some even think they should yell at their children to correct their behavior. Nothing could be further from the truth.

What we need to understand very clearly is that yelling and verbally assaulting our children is in no way the best way to punish them.

If we remember that discipline is synonymous with teaching, we will change our perspective and approach. If you yell or talk aggressively to your children, you destroy their ability to learn. Children feel emotionally bad and then block any form of learning.

When you give commands in an aggressive tone, children’s brains automatically go into fight or flight mode. This causes children to become very resistant and uncooperative. They also become emotionally angry with their parents because they are no longer empathetic.

Increase your empathy when disciplining your children

Parents suffer when their children suffer, but that doesn’t mean we should throw our rules out the window. Being indulgent only causes more damage in the long run.

Ideally, we should adopt a new approach to discipline. Talking to your child about the consequences of their actions in a calm and empathetic tone is always a good starting point for effective discipline.

Use a calm tone that comes from your heart and try to understand your children instead of attacking them. In this way, your child will feel accepted and know that you love him even if you correct him because that is your role as a parent.

You don’t have to yell. The world is hard enough and children need their home to be a place that offers not only physical protection, but emotional protection as well. Let your children face the established and natural consequences of their actions. However, also make sure that you are there to offer your support.

In many cases, the consequences often speak for themselves. You, as a mother or father, must stay true to your boundaries if you talk to your child in a calm, loving and above all empathetic tone.

What to do if you feel like you’re always yelling at your kids

You may have already developed a habit of yelling at your children and talking to them in an unkind way. Maybe you grew up with this kind of upbringing and you think it’s the only way to get your kids to obey you. And maybe if you talk to them calmly, they seem to ignore you.

First, you must understand that if you are always screaming, you must always be screaming. That’s because your kids get used to you screaming all the time. They don’t think they need to take you seriously unless you get mad and raise your voice. It becomes a vicious circle.

Don’t use an aggressive tone when disciplining your kids

Using an aggressive tone can bring results in the short term, but it fails in the long run. Yelling teaches children nothing. If you yell too often, you will only destroy your relationship with your children.

And as they get older, you need to maintain good communication with them if you want them to trust you. You should therefore make a point early in their childhood to use a calm tone when correcting them.

You should save raising your voice for real emergencies. In other words, those times when there is a safety risk and you need to get your children’s attention as quickly as possible to avoid harming themselves or others. Once the danger has been averted, return to your calm tone.