How To Get Kids Obedient: 5 Golden Rules
Parents often seek help from professionals. They ask for advice and guidelines so that they can make sure that their children are obedient and do as they are told. In reality, children don’t need orders to obey, they just want to understand things and feel valued.
The task of maintaining discipline in the home can be frustrating and sometimes even unpleasant, but it is a fundamental part of raising children.
Between the ages of 18 and 24 months, they begin to recognize, understand, and respect the authority of their parents. Parents should of course know how to deal with this without the children feeling shortchanged.
Obedient children come with wisdom, insight and creativity. You must exercise discipline in an atmosphere of love and affection.
The key is that children need to understand that every behavior has consequences, both negative and positive. They need to understand that different types of behavior produce different results. Some results are pleasant, others less so.
Time-out with guidance
A time-out does not mean that you simply set the child aside to make him think about his behavior. Far from it! If you use time-out in this way, you will only achieve that your child feels abandoned and that his feelings do not matter.
You can use a time-out if your child is not obedient, but you must assist him. After all, he must understand what his negative behavior was, what behavior is good and what the consequences are. If necessary, you should also help him to calm down.
Form obedient behavior
It is very important that you help him shape his behavior according to your wishes. If you want your child to be nice, you have to be nice. If you do not want your child to show aggressive behavior towards his brother, it is necessary that you are not aggressive, not with them, not with others and not with yourself.
Reward obedient behavior
Confirming good behavior shows that you care about him behaving well. That way, your child will feel that you value his good behavior and will therefore tend to behave better in future situations.
We don’t mean here that you should reward good behavior every time. You will promote selfishness if you reward excessively. A good way to confirm good behavior is with some kind of reward for the whole family.
This can be, for example, a points system or a pot of marbles …. When the jar is full, the child can choose an activity to do with the whole family, such as a day at the beach or a trip to the park to eat an ice cream.
Make sure everything is okay with your child
Your child may be disobedient because something is bothering him and he is trying to make it clear to you in this way. Perhaps you should check whether:
- does he get the right food?
- does he get enough sleep?
- his activity program does not cause too much stress
- that there is something going on in the family that is making him emotionally upset….
This way you can analyze what is going on and try to find a solution to the problem. It is important that you consider whether your child is experiencing any kind of emotional conflict before requiring blind obedience. If he feels good emotionally, his behavior can improve dramatically.
Tell him what you expect from him
Children often disobey without being aware of it. They simply don’t know what exactly is expected of them. Children need information about their behavior and about what is and what is not accepted.
If he doesn’t behave well in a certain situation, you need to make it clear to him what is right. Explain to him what the consequences are if he does or does not comply.
In many cases, the consequences that naturally arise from a situation are also a good lesson to be obedient next time.