No, Motherhood Doesn’t Ruin Your Friendships

When we become a mother, many things change, including our social lives and friendships. 

Motherhood is, of course, a beautiful time in our lives. But it can also be a sad time because it often makes us realize that some people are not up to the challenge.

There are people who we thought would support us in this phase but who instead chose to disappear. We often think it is our own fault, but this is not always true.

Motherhood doesn’t ruin your friendships, it just makes the friendships worth it last.

However, you will have to do your best. When friendships fall apart, neither is usually entirely to blame. By taking on your new role as a mother, you may have neglected the very people who have always supported you.

Maybe it was you who watered it down or maybe there was a misunderstanding.

Or maybe the people who once called you friends weren’t who you thought they were.

What can I do to get my friendships back?

If you think you’re the one responsible, don’t let that stop you from making amends. Be aware of your mistakes and try to correct them.

Try to reconnect with your friends and invite them to be a part of your child’s life.

say I’m sorry

This is an easy way to admit that you accept your share of the blame. If you think you hurt someone’s feelings, say you’re sorry.

Accept that you have not acted correctly and show that you are still the same person as before. If your friendship is real, the other person will know how to forgive you.

Show interest in them

Show them you’re not self-centered and ask them how they’re doing. You are not the only person in the world who has problems.

Try to support your friends, listen to them and take an interest in their lives. Nobody likes people who only think about themselves.

Don’t talk about your child all the time

Diapers and bottles are not the only things in life. It’s okay to talk about your baby with your friends, but don’t take over every conversation.

If all you talk about is your baby and your child, they will eventually tire of you. Being a mother does not mean that you have to put aside all your other interests.

Try to involve them in your child’s life

Invite them to participate in your child’s life. Friends are the family we choose, who support us when our relatives cannot or will not be there for you.

Some children grow up with their parents’ friends as their godparents and love them like uncles and aunts. After all, if something happens to you, you want someone to take care of your child that you can absolutely trust.

Keep in touch

Today, thanks to the internet and social media, it is much easier to maintain our friendships. Talk to them whenever you want, tell them what’s going on in your life and find out what’s happening in their lives.

You don’t have to be online all day, just enough to keep up to date with the latest news. It doesn’t matter if you are near or far, they will always be there for you.

When you don’t change but the people around you do

If it’s others who have distanced themselves from you despite your best efforts, don’t get sad. This is how life gets rid of harmful people who were with you only in good times.

You have the right to be disappointed and sad about this, but don’t think about it too much. You have learned to recognize people who are not good for you so stay away from them as much as possible.

Some Characteristics of Harmful People

• They don’t care about you or your baby. They never ask how things are going or offer their help.

• Sometimes they pretend to be concerned, but when you need them they are never there.
• They lie to you.
• Every time you invite them to your kid’s event, they make excuses not to go.
• The only time they pick up the phone or read your messages is when it suits them.
• They make you feel alone and isolated.
• They criticize you all the time and don’t understand that your priorities are different from theirs.

If someone around you is behaving like this, keep your distance. They cannot be trusted and do not deserve to be a part of your life. Take advantage of this new phase.

As a mother, you also have the opportunity to meet new people who are going through similar things and it is a chance to make new friends.

In the schoolyard, in parks and at nurseries. They are all great places to meet other moms during your normal routines with your child.

You can also try joining clubs, courses and groups to meet people with the same interests as you.